Seasons greetings!

This month I start the new year with a review of some of the creeping attacks on clear written and oral English language expression. I presume that the reader has noticed the absence of an apostrophe before the ‘s’ in the greeting, which is to serve as an introduction to my topic. That is so, unless the editor has added the apostrophe without reading further!

I started thinking about my topic by asking myself; “Self, am I a compulsive nitpicker?” “Is there any socially valuable reason for criticizing the changes that I see and hear in English language expression over the years?” In search of an answer for myself I reviewed some of the commentaries by various experts that I have collected over the years of my career as a professional contrarian.

By the way, before I go on I want to tell you about the most memorable description of a nitpicker that I have read. It was in Alan Fotheringham’s column at the back of McLeans magazine long ago and he was writing about lawyers that he described as being so nitpicky that ‘they can pick fly shit out of a barrel of Rice Krispies while wearing boxing gloves.” Do they still make that cereal made up of small bits of dried white rice?

Going back now to my search for a good reason to criticize the confusion that is created by changes in language that do not assist effective communication but hinder it, I seized upon the following reasoning by one C.W. Gusewelle, an American writer, in comments about misuse of the apostrophe, which I paraphrase for brevity and italicize, as follows.

[Incorrect language usage] would be of no consequence except for the habit that ignorance has of finding its way into general usage, and then becoming accepted, and acquiring finally the dignity of a rule. The process is driven by a fuzzy egalitarianism… the notion that since people differ in their ability to perform certain tasks, it is not as important to get things right as to feel good about oneself while getting them wrong. And the easiest way to achieve that, of course, is simply to change the definition of right. It has happened to.. what passes for music..to matters of public and private behavior, political accountability, parental responsibility, etc.

Now that I have already taken up half of my allotted space this month I propose to briefly identify some of the popular offending changes by putting them into the form of questions. I will then set for myself the goal of dealing with the problems (not ‘issues’) these infelicities and downright mistakes throw up in my next commentary. The interested reader (do I have one??) may analyse each problem and compare it with my future commentary.

1. Here is an offending newspaper headline: Dutch dominance in long track speed skating begs the question, where’s Canada?

2.  What will be the impact of more skating lessons on Canada’s chances to win a gold medal?

3. The notorious Bill C 33 or First Nation Education Act 2014.

(4) The director of education, the principal, the council of the First Nation, the First Nation Education Authority, if the school is administered by such an Authority, and their employees must provide all reasonable assistance to enable the school inspector to perform their functions.

4. We have to be inclusive eh?

5. For this recipe you may use apples and/or oranges. Or a worse version of the same problem: When using these ingredients you may mix/mash/cut them into little pieces.

6. Gender Equity in Indian Registration Act which came into force in January 2011.

7. And what do you think we should do about the problem going forward?

8. Let us grow our business enterprise!

9. It is a Canadian virtue to promote diversity.

Must I admit that I yield but too easily to my propensity to act as a didactic twit?

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Readers may have noticed another Canadian trend which forbids criticism of anyone, any idea, or any religion. The only exceptions seem to be Aboriginal people and the Catholic Church, which has already transformed itself in an apparent bid for popularity. The trend seems to be experiencing a reversal for the latter in light of some of the ideas that are being promoted by Pope Francis. His fifteen points for personal improvement delivered in his Christmas message to the Vatican bureaucrats (the Curia) are guides not only for bureaucrats of all stripes but for everyone. My favourite point is his admonishment of folks who walk around with ‘funereal faces’. Look it up.

Happy 2015.

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